Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
