i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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