So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
