She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
