4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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