Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
