so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
