He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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