Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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