Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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