I'm going to jail i love you
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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