What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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