It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
