If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
