I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
