I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
