SEEEEXXX PLEASE
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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