When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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