We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
