I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
