Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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