She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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