the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
