Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
