I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
