i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
