Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
