I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
