Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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