I like to think it a success when the cops are called
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
