they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize