Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Semen is not good for contacts.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
