Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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