What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
