next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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