How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
