I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
