pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
