just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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