so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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