And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
