you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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