I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
