It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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