their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
