maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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