Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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