At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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