Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
