last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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