her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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