the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
