he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
