Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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