You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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