Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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