i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
My feet surprised me
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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