just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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