yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
