I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
