ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
