with your own penis?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
