I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
