I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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