nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Mom said you looked used
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
