Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
