i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
