youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
