youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
